Francine Marzanek

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Thursday, February 09, 2006

40 and 20

So as many of you know, I turned 40 yesterday. That really did not phase me - not as much as still not fitting into my prepregnancy jeans. Ahhh!! Anyways, it just seems like a number, hard to believe but with an19 month old son, not feeling all that old. Until I listened to my voicemail yesterday. I had a message from a university friend/roommate wishing me happy birthday. I was reflecting on her message and contemplating asking her if we should organize a reunion for ourselves and friends from Waterloo university when I realized that I have known Lisa for 20 years! Yes, 20 years, no it will be 21 years this fall. I could then feel the grey hairs creeping in, the soreness in my joints, the out of breath feeling when I run - or try to run and I realized that I am getting old. I dont think I am old yet - that is not for another 30 years or so, or until my son tells me how ancient I am, but it is happening. Just before I started dating Mark (okay that is over 10 years ago), I was living in Ottawa and had a few people including Mark. Well, one of these people who will remain nameless was looking through the music selection and commented that old people lived there based on the music. I was very annoyed - Linda and I were not old - especially considering the antics that went on before both of us were formally engaged! And we did not see it that way, not in the least. The only time is has really bothered me is when I was working at the health unit and my colleagues seemed so much younger than I. But I have had an epiphany of sorts after I realized that I had known Lisa for half my life. Those people are colleagues, and just a short chapter in my life. Lisa, and many others like Lisa and Linda are the blessings that I have carried with me, along with all my baggage, my family, my tragedies and my joys. I am not old - just very blessed. That is indeed a gift unto itself. That and the great surprise Mark has planned for me this weekend!